What the Elves do for fun

Santa's Little Elves Always Play Nice

Have you ever wondered what the elves do for fun when they aren’t making presents? Well here’s a good idea of how they get back at Santa with their time off.

Ok, it’s not terribly complicated, but it took me a few times to figure out exactly what I was supposed to do. The first mouse click starts things moving along. Click and hold to retract the catapult, and when you release the button Santa will fly.

Catapult Santa or local copy in case this link goes out.

Penguin Baseball

Rumor has it the birds are juiced.A penguin walks into a bar, and asks the bartender if he has any plums. The bartender, confused, tells the penguin that no, his bar doesn’t serve plums. The penguin thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the penguin returns, and again repeats his request for plums. Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve plums, has never served plums, and, furthermore, will never serve plums. The penguin, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the penguin returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: “Listen, penguin! This is a bar! We do not serve plums! If you ever ask for plums again, I will nail your stupid penguin beak to the bar!” The penguin is silent for a moment, and then asks, ”Do you have any nails?” Confused, the bartenders says “No.”

“Good!” says the penguin. “Then do you have any plums?”

——–

At which point the bartender wished he could play: Penguin Baseball

Anchorman

With a brain a third the size of us, it's science.This isn’t much of a movie review as the movie isn’t released until 9 July 2004, so consider this a trailer review.

Will Ferrell returns to hit socal roots to play a 70’s anchorman for Channel 4 News team in San Diego. So I guess that means: funny and filled with hot girls. The trailer and an exclusive clip are available in many formats and sizes. “You pooped in the refrigerator?…I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.”

Will Ferrell is THE comedian right now. Last year brought us Old School and the Harvard Class Day speech.

Sara, if we go to just one movie this year, and that’s a real possibility, it’s gonna be Anchorman.

California Coastline

Here we come...I found CaliforniaCoastline.org a while back, I think in relation to the lawsuit by Ms. Streisand that tried to shut this down. Instead, it probably just gave it free publicity and brought it to my attention.

If you’ve ever lived in California or traveled to part of its coast, you’ll like what you can find here.

Golden Gate Bridge
Opening Scene from ‘The O.C.’
The Wedge
Golden Gate Park and the Sunset
Southern End of Zuma Beach

Lots of memories, check it out.

What is Your Name?

Gandolf the wizard

Lord of the Rings: The Return Of The King was released on December 17th at a feature length of 3 hours and 30 minutes for this final film in the trilogy. I would recommend the collectors versions of the trilogy films if you are interested in learning more about the vast imaginary world which has been created based on the original books (The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings)

In connection with the trilogy and other famous works of J.R.R. Tolkien there have been a lot of development of various mythical stories and creatures, etymology of a lot of the elvish words used. One of the scolars (David Salo) of the invented languages Tolkien used in the books was called up to help the movie creators with the inscriptions on both the ring and the elven gate to the mines of Morea, along with the dialogue of the films and inscriptions on costumes and props. Another student of Tolkien came up with one of the more current applications of his studies and put his knowledge into a name generator. If you want to learn more, click here.

What is my Elven Name?
What is my Hobbit Name?
Continue reading What is Your Name?

A Day at Baltimore Airport

God Bless AmericaDear Friends and Family:

I hope that you will spare me a few minutes of your time to tell you about something that I saw on Monday, October 27.

I had been attending a conference in Annapolis and was coming home on Sunday. As you may recall, Los Angeles International Airport was closed on Sunday, October 26, because of the fires that affected air traffic control.

Accordingly, my flight, and many others, were canceled and I wound up spending a night in Baltimore. My story begins the next day.
Continue reading A Day at Baltimore Airport

New York Marathon Tips

Puff for GovernorThis weekend is the annual New York City Marathon. Thousands of people from all over the world will descend on this little hamlet..err…sprawling metropolis to run 26.2 miles. I’m dedicating this entry to all those hopeful marathoners and Puff Daddy, should he read this.

Tips for Running the New York City Marathon:

# Write your name on your shirt! Residents of New York will be out in masses, usually in the millions to support your quest for the finish line in Central Park, but they don’t know you. However, you’ll get a lot of support and cheers if you write your name in big letters on your shirt. Keep in mind that you’ll have a race number so plan accordingly. Bonus: American flags and “Ohio Loves NY” are appreciated.
# If you plan to keep them after the race, cut your toe nails before it. Shorter nails will be less likely to have problems.
# Bring Advil. New York is the city where you can get anything from Starbucks to pot delivered to your apartment, but Advil is your only friend on mile 16.
# Don’t try anything new on race day.
# An extension of the above is: Find out what sports drinks, power gel, etc. they are giving to the runners on the course, and try it before hand. I trained with Poweraid, but on race day had to drink a poor-man’s watered-down fruit punch drink. Get used to it.
# Drink early, drink often. It might be cold and you might not be sweating much, but you need lots of fluid.
# Have fun! For you first timers, finishing is a life experience.

Good luck on race day! I’ll be near the finish line on the right side, a few hundred yards before the finish…cheering for Florida Jill, England, John, and you.

Diehard Cubs Fan?

He's just unlucky to be in the front row.  Everyone was reaching for it.

* Front row seats to Game 6 of the Cubs – Marlins Series: $400
* Cubs baseball hat: $25
* 4 Beers: $24
* Reaching out to catch a flyball, causing Alou not to catch it and initiating the 8 run inning for the Marlins…then to have your picture on every sports website and name revealed…forever to be cursed by Cubs fans: priceless

Witness Protection Program: Anything less would be dangerous.

Longbow

That was close.

Shoot your Longbow…to maim badly.

Giving the Finger – Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).

Editor’s Note: You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the web.

Intrsieteng Fcat

Kdenlal, I frat in yuor geanerl dicroetin.The paomnnehil pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fishin’

Proud to run Linux, but now running OS XLittle Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “Whatcha doing, Tim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”


A quick chuckle, now try to make your fish bigger than all the rest by eating everything smaller than you.

Post your scores in the comments below.

Review: Lake House

Avoid, avoid, avoid!Getting out of New York on a summer weekend can be quite a task. There’s the traffic, the traffic, and then once the traffic clears you get stuck behind bad drivers thinking 66 in the fast lane is plenty. Enter books on tape. The perfect solution to the traffic holding the audience captive. Good in concept, but The Lake House, by James Patterson, is horrible in practice.

We struggled not to turn it off, it’s that bad. The book is filled with pseudo product placements and references to pop culture that stick out and make you wonder if they were added for comedic value. Nary a glass of wine is sipped without a ‘Turning Leaf Chardonnay’ being mentioned. Character building is attempted by mentioning how much Maxine liked the movie, Shallow Hal, and her favorite actor, Gwenyth Paltrow. Names and brands are dropped like Patterson sold the spots for a thousand dollars a pop…is this a new business model?
Continue reading Review: Lake House

US Online Driver’s Licence Database

Look up your DL and the picture of you is there and everything! ScarySo, I just had an email forwarded to me that casually mentions that you can look up people’s driver’s licence on-line with picture and everything! Jesus!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want this information out there available for anyone to see, so help me let people know what’s going on so we can get a petition started to shut this site down.

For now, jump on here as quickly as you can, look up your own driver’s licence and when it comes up click the ‘Please remove me from this database’ button on the bottom right.

Driver’s Licence Database

Net Riddler

???I’ve always liked riddles, and this looks like a promising game. To get to the next page, you must enter the answer to each riddle. Some kind of prize occurs at the end…I think collectively we could get it.

Net Riddler Site

Below are the answers as I get them or people help me. They are hidden in a white font, so highlight the text area with your mouse to see the answers.
Continue reading Net Riddler

Harvard Class Day 2003

Four of you, and I'm not at liberty to say which four, will go on to magnificent careers in the porno industry.
Socal boy Will Ferrell gave the Class Day speech at Harvard this year. The whole Class Day event was webcast, but the first hour and 27 minutes are worthless.

1 hour 27 minutes – The two guys to introduce him are so not funny they are worth watching.

1 hour 30 minutes – Will comes on and is classic for about 24 minutes…after which close it quickly to save yourself from having to listen to Harvard students trying to be funny….fortunately Will is still on stage so watch “Frank” drink a beer.

There is also a transcript available if you don’t have sound and video…and here’s a link to Apple so you can get a new computer.

One Corner in the Ether